Mom got her results back from her doctor (actually pathologist) and while she had clean margins the doctor saw some more spots that he wants to remove. He said it would be about 20 minutes, he wouldn't have to "put her under" so that's comforting. Mom is taking it well. I think she's very comfortable with all this now though at the beginning I didn't think she was going to. She was so depressed...more than I was. And while I cried each time I thought about it the first few weeks and when I was finally able to say the words "I have breast cancer"...then...I was better. I just made up my mind to live. I don't know how many days, months or years I have in this life, only God does. All I know is that every day that I get to live, I choose to have it be a good one. Anyway...I digress...mom is doing good. Her surgery will be in 2 weeks.
I've talked to everyone I need to talk to now about the genetic testing and I think it's a done deal...we will NOT be having the test. Everyone understands my position and we're all in agreement that having the test confirm a mutated gene does not give you any more information...you don't know IF you'll get it, WHEN you'll get it or anything else. What you will do is have mammograms starting at 25 yrs of age. Ok so Kristi, Keyla and later Katie will begin having mammograms at 25. If their insurance doesn't cover it...then they will pay the 250-300 dollars to get one every year. It's a small price to pay to ensure that WE CAN ALL still get insurance. The test tells us to be more vigilant...well, we can do that on our own. In fact, we should be accountable to our bodies and we should take care of them. For a long time now, women have wanted complete control of their bodies, well, by golly then lets take care of them...lets be responsible and we can be vigilant along with our doctors to make sure that we are taken care of. And if anyone has a doctor that doesn't want to see or ensure our well being and if they brush off our determination...then it's time to find a new doctor.
God Bless
Friday, April 10, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
IT'S BEEN A WHILE...
Yep...it's been a while since I posted here. There came a point where I just didn't want this blog...or this cancer...to control me so I took some time off and really just forgot about it. No one probably read it much anyway. That's ok. That's what it was about. It was a place for me to write, to vent, to just dig into what I was feeling and not feeling bad about talking about it. You get to a point where you feel like you don't want to mention it because everyone around you are tired of hearing about it. People ask how you feel and do they really want to know that you're still tired and did they really want to know anything else? Who knows. So that's why I quit posting.
AND THEN...
At the end of December, my mom was diagnosed. UGGGGHHHHHH! So that is my grandmother, my mother and me. Who will be next? Diagnosis came at different points in our lives. My granmother was in her early 70's, mom in her early 60's and me in my early 40's. I'm thinking it was 72, 62 and 42. I really didn't want to deal with it again and mom was really driving herself crazy. She was extremely depressed about it and threatened not to have treatments. I think a lot had to do with getting the right doctors...ones' who talked to you, explained things to you, gave you hope. Unfortunately, her first surgeon didn't want to discuss the what if's, the what's next; she just wanted to tell us what was going on that day and then expected mom to leave and go about her daily business as usual. Well, I'm sorry to say, IT AIN'T LIKE THAT!
I was not happy from the getgo. I went to appointments with mom. I took notes. I asked questions...things that I knew mom wouldn't ask because she was so depressed that I knew she wasn't even trying to educate herself on breast cancer. Her first dr. pretty much just dismissed our notes, our questions...even went so far as to tell my sister that she didn't need the notebook, that everything she needed to know was "in here" and handed her a book on all the different types of breast cancer and options. My notebook kept me from having multiple procedures. It helped me to remember what the doctor said. It helped me to recall the details of what I had done. It gave me a place to list my questions for the next appointment so I wouldn't forget them as it is quite overwhelming. I took my book everywhere...even having it on my bed during procedures so I could prove a pathology report or hand a document with results on it to another specialist. It helped me have control in an otherwise uncontrollable situation.
So...
Mom has breast cancer. At the time of this writing...the lumpectomy has been done and we are hopeful that her pathology report comes back with clean margins. She had the surgery on Friday and was up cooking biscuits and gravy at 3am the next morning. Now don't get all excited. She was just still under the influence of the hospital drugs because she spent the next 5 days in a fog, barely able to walk from her room. It was so bad that I was beginning to think that she was taking her pain meds too close together and removed everything from her bedroom. I would dispense them now. It was later discovered that she was taking sleeping pills in addition to others and well...suffice it to say...she was just a loon. But I love her.
She had her post op check-up yesterday (6 days after surgery) and all looked good. The doc said she was really swollen but mom failed to tell him that she was up at 3am (yes...3am again) plunging the tubs and toilets. We've had a lot of much needed rain and things were beginning to get a little backed up. She didn't tell him that.
But...there seems to always be a "but" when talking about mom...when we were standing in Penni's office (she works next door to the surgeon), Penni noticed that one eye was dialated - only one and it barely responded to light. One of the doc's in Penni's office walked us back to the surgeon and they both took a look at her and recommended going to the ER. They were concerned since mom was in bed for 5-6 days that a clot could form and that could result in a stroke. But God is good...He's a good and merciful God. It turned out to be a patch that was put behind her ear after surgery to guard against nausea. She should have taken it off after 3 days but it stayed for 6. She had just taken it off the night before. So thank God, all is well.
We stayed with mom from Sun till Fri and have just come home today. Though it's nice to visit...I think we can all agree...THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
I'll come back and post and let you know how mom's doing.
As for me...I still tire if I try to do a lot. Of course...could be that I'm 50lbs overweight!!! I have my 3 month check up this month. Will write more as I'm in the beginning stages of researching the BRCA-1 and BRCA-2 test, a genetic test to determine if our family is carrying a mutated gene.
As always...love you all.
God Bless you all
Remember...Jesus died for me...He died for you too. He loves you and He can change your circumstances. Seek His face. Read His word.
AND THEN...
At the end of December, my mom was diagnosed. UGGGGHHHHHH! So that is my grandmother, my mother and me. Who will be next? Diagnosis came at different points in our lives. My granmother was in her early 70's, mom in her early 60's and me in my early 40's. I'm thinking it was 72, 62 and 42. I really didn't want to deal with it again and mom was really driving herself crazy. She was extremely depressed about it and threatened not to have treatments. I think a lot had to do with getting the right doctors...ones' who talked to you, explained things to you, gave you hope. Unfortunately, her first surgeon didn't want to discuss the what if's, the what's next; she just wanted to tell us what was going on that day and then expected mom to leave and go about her daily business as usual. Well, I'm sorry to say, IT AIN'T LIKE THAT!
I was not happy from the getgo. I went to appointments with mom. I took notes. I asked questions...things that I knew mom wouldn't ask because she was so depressed that I knew she wasn't even trying to educate herself on breast cancer. Her first dr. pretty much just dismissed our notes, our questions...even went so far as to tell my sister that she didn't need the notebook, that everything she needed to know was "in here" and handed her a book on all the different types of breast cancer and options. My notebook kept me from having multiple procedures. It helped me to remember what the doctor said. It helped me to recall the details of what I had done. It gave me a place to list my questions for the next appointment so I wouldn't forget them as it is quite overwhelming. I took my book everywhere...even having it on my bed during procedures so I could prove a pathology report or hand a document with results on it to another specialist. It helped me have control in an otherwise uncontrollable situation.
So...
Mom has breast cancer. At the time of this writing...the lumpectomy has been done and we are hopeful that her pathology report comes back with clean margins. She had the surgery on Friday and was up cooking biscuits and gravy at 3am the next morning. Now don't get all excited. She was just still under the influence of the hospital drugs because she spent the next 5 days in a fog, barely able to walk from her room. It was so bad that I was beginning to think that she was taking her pain meds too close together and removed everything from her bedroom. I would dispense them now. It was later discovered that she was taking sleeping pills in addition to others and well...suffice it to say...she was just a loon. But I love her.
She had her post op check-up yesterday (6 days after surgery) and all looked good. The doc said she was really swollen but mom failed to tell him that she was up at 3am (yes...3am again) plunging the tubs and toilets. We've had a lot of much needed rain and things were beginning to get a little backed up. She didn't tell him that.
But...there seems to always be a "but" when talking about mom...when we were standing in Penni's office (she works next door to the surgeon), Penni noticed that one eye was dialated - only one and it barely responded to light. One of the doc's in Penni's office walked us back to the surgeon and they both took a look at her and recommended going to the ER. They were concerned since mom was in bed for 5-6 days that a clot could form and that could result in a stroke. But God is good...He's a good and merciful God. It turned out to be a patch that was put behind her ear after surgery to guard against nausea. She should have taken it off after 3 days but it stayed for 6. She had just taken it off the night before. So thank God, all is well.
We stayed with mom from Sun till Fri and have just come home today. Though it's nice to visit...I think we can all agree...THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
I'll come back and post and let you know how mom's doing.
As for me...I still tire if I try to do a lot. Of course...could be that I'm 50lbs overweight!!! I have my 3 month check up this month. Will write more as I'm in the beginning stages of researching the BRCA-1 and BRCA-2 test, a genetic test to determine if our family is carrying a mutated gene.
As always...love you all.
God Bless you all
Remember...Jesus died for me...He died for you too. He loves you and He can change your circumstances. Seek His face. Read His word.
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