Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I love Christmas...the hustle and bustle, the music, the children, the food and gifts...but mostly I love Jesus and am thrilled to celebrate Him.

Lord, help me to keep my focus on you, each and every day.

Happy Birthday Mom

Hi Mom
Hope you have a great birthday. Sorry we can't be there. If we come now, kids may not let us come home by Christmas.

Post Op

Last week I had my first surgery (Dec 10). It was like 4 operations in 1 and took a little longer than they thought. Recovery has been a little slow and I still don't feel "normal" whatever that is. The removed to lumps from the right breast, which is ok because originally the surgeon said she would not take 2 lumps from the same breast as it would be very distorted; she would do a mastectomy. Since the second mass was so small (3 little BB's) she opted to just remove the cluster and the original lump. They also biopsied some of my draining lymph nodes to see if the cancer had spread through the lymphatic system. It had not - PRAISE GOD!

I had the port installed. It's a small round button-like thing with a silicone top, about the size of a quarter. It has a long tube about 8 inches long and the tube is attached to a vein...which apparently the left side of your chest, just under the bone is the larger vein. This entire thing is under the skin and is used to receive chemo. I could have gone without but then they would have to put an IV in every time and I have tiny veins. It took 5 sticks to get a vein on surgery day - NOT a good thing. After the 5 sticks I was glad I had made the decision to get in put in. The first incision for the port, something went wrong and the surgeon had to make another so I have 2 ugly incisions on the left side of my chest and 2 incisions on the right side (the right side are much longer - about 7 inches total.)

So what does all this mean for me? Well, I have had several biopsies now, 3 lumps and several lymph nodes. Only 1 lump is cancer and has been removed from my body with clean margins. That means they got it all! No little cancer fingers reaching outside...no second surgery to remove more mass. Everything else has been non-cancerous!!! That is such a wonderful thing.
All of this will help the oncologist to stage me. I think I may come away with this being a stage one - possibly a stage two just because of the size of the cancer.

I am scheduled to start chemo Jan 7 and have some concerns to go over with oncologist. I have just scheduled a consultation with him to discuss a new test - oncotype - which will measure my odds of recurrence and I may be a candidate to avoid chemo. So that's where I'm at today.
We shall see where this leads. God bless you all. Thank you for your prayers...God listens.

Trying to get ready for the big day...

This week has seemed really busy. Since I'm not one to get out much...usually...this week has just drained me. Tuesday I had to take Kristi to her dr. appt. She is almost to the 6 month mark of not having any seizures so she is getting ready to start driving again. As the mom, I'm not so thrilled but I know she's ready. I'm sure I'll be thankful when my treatments start that she can drive over here when I need something. She also got to meet my surgeon and oncologist Tuesday.

This was my first meeting with surgeon since some of the test came back (since she was out of the country.) She was not convinced about the MRI-guided biopsy being benign and neither was oncologist. Surgeon will attempt to remove it along with the cancer during the lumpectomy Monday, then she can biopsy it and get a true result. They will also be checking the draining lymph nodes to see if any cancer there. If so, they'll remove all my nodes under the arm and test each one. Let's pray that doesn't happen. I'll get my port installed during the surgery Monday also. I went for an iron IV drip today at the chemo center and saw all the men and women with their ports. Even though they each said it hurt (stick of the needle) I think it's better than trying to find veins to run the IV each time. It was kind of weird in there today. I was probably the youngest person in the room, except for the nurses. I was by myself, most had someone with them but I didn't want someone waiting for me for the SIX hours I was there. I also didn't know I was gonna get benadryl in case of an allergic reaction so I was a little tired and a little loopy...started driving and thought maybe I better get something to eat and sit a few minutes...so I did.

One older lady in the chemo room, she was halfway done with treatments...she was hard of hearing so she'd talk somewhat loudly to her daughter. After she showed me her port she began to talk to the nurse, asking if this was my first time and telling her daughter I must be so scared. I didn't think I was but began to wonder...

Well, Monday is the big day. The surgery is out patient so I'll be there most of the day but back home that evening. Not sure when I'll be back online to update but will try to get back here quickly. Take care everyone. Love you all.

I just want to thank my church family for being there for me, for being concerned and for praying for me. When it seems there's nothing that can be done...pray. It has really annoyed my mom that I haven't started any treatment plan yet though it's really been barely a month since the actual diagnosis (Oct 23). With my surgeon out of the country, there has been plenty of test being done to use up the time. Maybe that's why it appears that many people have a lumpectomy pretty quickly. It's something. Even though the dr's haven't done all the test, they have taken out a lump of cancer so maybe it just makes everyone feel better.

Next week is my week. Meetings with oncologist and surgeon...ironing out what's going to happen and when.

Christmas is in 3 weeks and I haven't even begun to shop...well, I take that back. I have bought my daughter and son-in-laws gifts. Not much...can't afford it. Was suppose to go shopping last night. Church had a parent's night out, 4 hrs that parents could leave the kids while they got shopping done. I dropped the kids off and came home...waited for husband...no show. He warned me (Bible study)...I warned him. But it didn't matter. Guess I'll do all the shopping by myself while he watches the kids. Hope he doesn't expect anything. Not feeling so giving or forgiving right now. I'm tired of being at the bottom of his priority list. Don't think God intended it to be that way but I can't argue it anymore. I have to focus on me even if he doesn't.

Today was good. Being in the house of the Lord is so refreshing. Takes me away from all of the other garbage in my life. I hope I can continue to go while going through all of this. I want to keep doing the things I've been involved in. I did have to let children's church go though. I was concerned about wintry colds. Parent's don't keep sick kids home anymore and I feel like I just need to limit that exposure. I wanted to keep on. I wanted the kids to understand and not be afraid.